Chat & Social > The Bar - General Chat
Shopping!
thermidorthelobster:
I take great pride in parking in the furthest, most remote corner of the car park and then walking. Invariably I get to the shop door some considerable time before all the people who followed me in and spent the next ten minutes trying to get a space as close to the shop as possible. God forbid they may have to actually walk somewhere.
Actually the above isn't strictly accurate; most of the time I don't go near the places.
ade666:
i'm with with you thermindor. but i always find that some one has come and parked right next to me even if the rest of the car park is empty. also don't do your xmas food shopping in your local 24 hr supermarket at midnight going into xmas eve. we did last year, it was bedlam
gnasha:
--- Quote from: carbore on November 01, 2008, 15:07:24 ---Modern rules of shoppping
A. Take as many members of your family as possible
B. Allways have a converstation with someone in the middle of the isle and become def to all around you
C. Dont make a list, just use your mobile all the way around the store
D. Poor? just feed you kids on coke and crisps, vegetables are hard work!
E. Poor? spend all the money you save on those 75 coupons on buying at least six DVDs every week
F. Fat, one look in your trolley tells me its NOT "your glands"
G. Dont simply say "excuse me" just stand behind someone (Point b) and tut.
H. Why waste time walking in the car park when you can just drive round till a space by the shop is free (disabled ones are best!)
I. Dont know how to park, pick the biggest car possible, you might just get some of it between the white lines
J. Old, got nothing to do all week, go shopping at 11:00 Saturday morining and get in the way as much as possible
K. Cant see what you need, park you trolley at 90deg to the shelf and blank out the world.
More to follow im sure......
--- End quote ---
You forgot to add feed the kids as you go round as so not to pay for that days dinner "seen this alot"
And watch the shelf stackers play football with what ever falls out of the cage as they take them to the shelfs
i see this happen in kettering the other week stoped the lads that were doing it telling them i wanted there name so i could put a complaint in they just shouted f*** off tesco wont sack us they short of staff went to the main desk spoke to a manager described who it was and she said o yer i no who you meen they are allways leaking about and she will sort it we see them the next week and they stuck there fingers up and said we told you and kicked some jaffa cakes across the floor
Disco Matt:
Generally the approach here seems to be:
If you're not all present and correct between the ears, visit the supermarket during the busiest times
Retired? Doddery? Clueless? Go on Saturday morning as you always have done. Never mind the fact that you could go at any time during the week and enjoy a quieter shop, your mission is to cause mayhem
The smaller the car, the harder it is to park. A Corsa takes at least four attempts, at the end of which you should leave it skewed across the space
Parking cannot be done slowly and smoothly. You must: Rev like mad, proceed in short jerks, and be completely unable to use your mirrors when reversing. Bonus points for parking on top of another car and then watching gormlessly as the occupants try to crawl back into their properly parked vehicle through the tiny gap
If someone does not move, use your horn. They're clearly only stopping there to annoy you, the car in front of them is a mirage
Looking for a space? Why not stop directly behind the vehicle with reversing lights on? They clearly don't plan to leave a space that you could then use
Don't go to Aldi. Well, unless it's to move very slowly around the store, showing a pursed-lipped expression and upturned nose at all the "foreign food". Bonus points if you can hold people who really don't mind multilingual packaging up
T30CDB:
--- Quote from: V8MoneyPit on November 01, 2008, 14:28:48 ---If it's a 24hr shop, best to go in after midnight. It's a lot calmer :D
--- End quote ---
We have in Coventry what is/was the largest Tesco 24 in the country and if you are stupid enough to go shopping after 11 at night you have no chance of completing your shopping in under an hour/two cause every isle has a line of the big wheeled crate things down the middle while one person has the job of restocking the entire isle. Better off going during the day if your lucky enough to work near one
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