IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

[andygod]

Our Science dep't has worked out the following

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, I am pleased to present the
annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children, persons under 18, in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5
children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at
least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to
say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a
second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the
stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever
snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and
move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops
are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now
talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles,
not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31
hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made
vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a
conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the
sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison -
this is four times the weight of the QE2.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,
they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire
reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,
meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be
pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.


Happy Christmas!!!!

[Hightower]

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

No he's not !!!  We saw him in Lapland 2 days ago with all of his elves.

[V8MoneyPit]

Already posted:
http://forums.mud-club.com/viewtopic.php?t=33846

But still very good!  :D

[Mudlark]

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound.

Santa has 1/1000th of a
second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the
stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever
snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and
move on to the next house.

So now you know why you never caught the guy delivering your presents  :roll:  :lol:  :lol:


Doesn't prove that he doesn't exist - just shows that modern scientific minds cannot comprehend the miracle of Christmas - that's all :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[clbarclay]

Some old guy going into your childrens rooms in the middle of the night and to make it worse hes a repeat affender [-X . How he has not yet been named and shamed in the tabloid newspapers is the real miricle of christmas.

[muddyman]

try this http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php

[Baron-Red]

He does he has just got to tanzania :lol:

[dazzawhipple]

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS...............no


But there is Father Christmas

[clbarclay]

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS...............no


But there is Father Christmas

And when did he die?

[Sheddy]

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS...............no


But there is Father Christmas

And when did he die?

Shortly after you told him you'd been a good boy so's you'd get the prezzies.

He died laughing.  Asthma probably, caused by breathing in reindeer farts.