Mud-club
Chat & Social => The Bar - General Chat => Topic started by: Wolfie on April 19, 2006, 19:00:16
-
If you have driven to work in the morning, it is strongly advised that you don't walk home at the end of the day.
Regards
Wolfie
Now worried about what stupidity of mine he is going to retort with.
-
dont remove a p38 fuel filter with the ignition on & the pump stalled due to the filter being blocked
-
dont leave the spark plugs out of your engine then panic why it wont start.
-
Don't jump on a bike without a seat.
-
dont try and reverse up a steep hill you tend to blow half shafs lol
like i did over the weekend lol
-
swallowing plutonium can be damaging to your health
-
Don't eat yellow snow.
-
dont put you ladders up on an icy footpath
-
don't ask muddyweb what he thinks of dislocation cones[1]
[1] especially not when he's had a pint of something made of apples[2]
[2] well, mostly apples.
-
juggling nytrocylcerine will only end in tears
-
Dont expect an Audi Quattro and Suzuki Vitara to drive the same
After plouging up the pub lawn in a tailslide and scaring a subaru driver witless.
-
Don't pick your nose on a bumpy road
-
Don't call a Peugeot 206CC a 'Girly-Car' to a county rated Kick-Boxer :(scared):
She still scares me
-
Don't forget to put the drain plug back in before refilling with oil !
-
Any "quick" and "easy" job will involve at least one rounded nut.
-
Put the wheel back on before lowering the jack.
-
If its a nice day, never leave 'the other side' until tomorrow. Sure fire way to end a drought.
-
never pick off small flecks of paint
you will regret the outcome
-
Never do "just one more lane" before you go home....
-
Put the wheel back on before lowering the jack.
Move your foot from under the wheel, BEFORE telling your 9 year old son to let the jack down, when he has never done it before. :lol:
-
move the wheely bin before jumpimg off back of lifted disco (ouch)
especially when your 8 year old asked if you wanted it moving
Debbie
-
Never do "just one more lane" before you go home....
how true
-
when recovering a vechicle from mud the front bumper is not an ideal place to attach the tow rope
-
On entering a campsite, with your caravan in tow - MIND THE GATE. Otherwise it could be expensive. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sorry Jas, couldn't help myself. :lol:
-
Before fretting that you've bombed your front axle, always ensure that a large dog hasn't engaged difflock on your behalf.
<smirk>
cheers
8)
Eeyore
-
NEVER show your son how to press the panic alarm on your car key fob
especially when he finds the fob at 4am
it was handy to scare the bejesus out of him when he was naughty, not so good when he thought it was fun
-
Before fretting that you've bombed your front axle, always ensure that a large dog hasn't engaged difflock on your behalf.
I should imagine "Ensure your diff lock light is working" would be tied to that one too :-)
-
From "My Parents are Aliens", today - Don't insert your fingers till the blade has stopped turning.
-
Don't forget to put the drain plug back in before refilling with oil !
Also
Make sure that the filler on the gearbox isn't seized before undoing the drain plug!!!
-
check how deep that water is before driving into it :lol:
-
In an emergency a car ariel can be folded up and used as a coat hanger
-
remember placing a hot on iron on skin can be dangerous
intead of buying a whole carpet place two peices on the bottom of your slippers
if you have bad wind quickly jump in a bath and hey presto instant jacuzzi
-
Find yourself a bit strapped for cash?
Simply place an advert in your local newsagents window saying lost £10 with your details and watch the tenners come flooding in.
-
Get a 4 ft length of toilet roll, place one end in the water in the toilet. Flush the toilet and watch the rest get sucked up like spaghetti :P
-
shoot a chav
:lol:
-
Never put the keys inside your newly-fitted cubby box and close the lid - without checking you didn't leave it in the "locked" state :oops:
-
Get a 4 ft length of toilet roll, place one end in the water in the toilet. Flush the toilet and watch the rest get sucked up like spaghetti :P
Try it with the lid down!
Did you know that when you flush the toilet, the germs can get flicked about 6 feet in the air? Top Tip (1) - always put the lid down before flushing, (2) don't keep your toothbrush on the sink next to the toilet!
-
Before fretting that you've bombed your front axle, always ensure that a large dog hasn't engaged difflock on your behalf.
:oops: :oops:
I should imagine "Ensure your diff lock light is working" would be tied to that one too :-)
It does. So I suppose looking at the dash occasionally would be a good idea.
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
-
Always give yourself another couple of hours added onto the estimated time of doing a job on the landy.
-
Don't put damp jeans onto a radiator when they have ep90 on them also. :-s
-
Resist the urge to poke 'surface rust'
-
Resist the urge to poke 'surface rust'
especially on discos & zuks
-
never slam your rear door in temper with sat nav unit on the step
-
Welding masks work best when they are *in front* of your face
:shock:
-
Welding masks work best when they are *in front* of your face
:shock:
work best for who ?
:whothedaddy:
-
Don't take a short cut in one truck down a track when someones nicked the name sign off the end, you may get stuck and have to pay a nice farmer to tow you out the day after.
ain't that right jw :lol:
-
when replacing wheel on vehicle always make sure you havent just put wheelnuts on hand tight and then wonder what the knocking is 2 mile down the road :oops:
-
if you're a member of greenpeace protesting outside a landrover dealer, don't stop the person with the mud-club t-shirt on and ask him what his opinion of 4x4s is if you don't have a very good line of defense ...
-
:oops: High range is more suitable for tarmac driving :oops:
Regards
Wolfie
I'm not doing too well with those little gear levers am I?
-
:? dont leave your credit card bill .....especially where th wife can find it :oops:
-
when doing a simple job on your vehicle, always have a clean cloth ready, its ideal for mopping blood off your spanners when youve finished :roll:
-
:oops: High range is more suitable for tarmac driving :oops:
Regards
Wolfie
I'm not doing too well with those little gear levers am I?
you didnt did you?
waaaaaaaaaaaah 5000rpm 35 mph flat oot in low box,been ther before
-
[you didnt did you?
Yep, the racer was in low box to move her about when the engine wasn't running, forgot about that when I took her out the other day. Picked up well though :lol:
waaaaaaaaaaaah 5000rpm 35 mph flat oot in low box,been ther before
Didn't get up to that sort of speed on the road. That was on stage after the puddle incident. Contrary to what Land Rover say, you can change into high box at that speed :lol:
Regards
Wolfie
-
When changing pads on a motor, remember to use an absorbant rag that will soak up brake fluid, wrapped around the fluid reservoir
-
[you didnt did you?
Yep, the racer was in low box to move her about when the engine wasn't running, forgot about that when I took her out the other day. Picked up well though :lol:
waaaaaaaaaaaah 5000rpm 35 mph flat oot in low box,been ther before
Didn't get up to that sort of speed on the road. That was on stage after the puddle incident. Contrary to what Land Rover say, you can change into high box at that speed :lol:
Regards
Wolfie
yup,dip clutch,pull lever like life depends on it,wait for the bang or the grinding o teeth & away you go,
i found that lowbox 3rd on 750s the gear of choice for some comps specially boggy 1's,can pull away & not have to change gear
-
Don't forget to put the drain plug back in before refilling with oil !
On the same vain, try not to get all the oil up your sleeve when removing plug
Also
Dropping the plug in the waste oil is not the best thing to do
Also
Undo the filler plug before the drain plug (Sorry Ed didn't see your one on that)
-
Remember gas welding cooks further up the metal than mig does
-
when conecting battery terminals try not to touch + and- together with spanner it makes you jump :oops:
-
[you didnt did you?
Yep, the racer was in low box to move her about when the engine wasn't running, forgot about that when I took her out the other day. Picked up well though :lol:
I know someone who did that too #-o
made a nice fountain under the bonnet after a 'little run' up the A1.
-
If you've got a faulty fuel gauge on a 3.5 V8 range rover called "HANG OVER" don't try and do 150 mile cos it runs out at 130. :cry:
Oh well you live and learn :)
Stop laughing Martin, I know you warned me!!!
-
if you're a member of greenpeace protesting outside a landrover dealer, don't stop the person with the mud-club t-shirt on and ask him what his opinion of 4x4s is if you don't have a very good line of defense ...
:lol: would love to be a fly on the wall for that :lol:
-
an hour or so later they asked him to contact their head office and if he wouldn't mind leaving :-.
apparently the crowd were laughing at the greenpeace lot's inability to answer the questions :)
:troll:
-
If you've got a faulty fuel gauge on a 3.5 V8 range rover
or a 3.5 V8 Land Rover :oops:
Thanks Bob (my knight in shing armour, well, in Daisy at any rate) for rescuing me from the side of the M40.
-
Always check that the clutch is not stuck on the engine you have just yanked out of the vehicle that's been parked up in the bottom of the field before you put it in yours :roll:
-
Drive on the wrong side of the road when in Europe
:D
-
when giving it gunt & coming back down the box its advisable to select 3rd & not first :lol:
-
Drive on the wrong side of the road when in Europe
:D
While wondering why that daft sod in the truck coming towards you is on the on the wrong side of the road :shock: :lol:
-
Go to a theme park on a cold rainy day
The que's will be really small
:D
-
Drive on the wrong side of the road when in Europe
:D
Actually in Europe you drive on the RIGHT hand side :lol:
-
When descending after a failed hill-climb... always be sure to select *reverse* gear and not first
(http://members.mud-club.com/galleryimages/220628-1110750211.JPG)
-
all a good mechanic needs is a pair of adjustables,big knockin stick and oxy acet bottles. :lol:
i'm trained by pro's
-
Annoy your nuisance neighbour by replacing his note to his milkman with one saying 'having a party please leave 50 pints'.
-
Don't stand on the corner of the box of rivets that started the day neatly sorted into different sizes.
Don't stand on the corner of the box of washers that started the day neatly sorted into different sizes.
When looking underneath your winch equipped Land Rover, remember there is a large hook attached to the bumper. Ouch.
Regards
Wolfie
-
In summer, open the windows 10 mins before your journey.
It'll cool down and the leather/pvc seats won't stick to the backs of your short wearing legs!
:roll:
-
When driving a veichle fitted with black leather interior see above
No really I mean it!
IF a gullwing door goes 'ping' while its up, get your legs in the car fast.
Spent a month with CMD stamped on the back of my calf in purple and yellow
-
Make sure you have a firm hold of an angle grinder when working under Range Rover ! :shock: :oops: :shock:
4 hours in casualty and several stitches later ............ Also feeling very lucky still have leg as was using 1mm cutting disc !!! :shock:
-
when recovering a vechicle from mud the front bumper is not an ideal place to attach the tow rope
neither is the bullbar if it is slightly rusty :oops: :oops: :oops: (ask bob696 :lol: )
-
First found out that a standard bumper with a normal tow ball bolted on isnt a recovery point when I had my old S3 for about a fornight
:roll:
-
make sure you re-connect the oil pipes on the turbo before starting the car up and moving it about 15 foot before wondering were that oil slick is coming from :oops:
-
Check your tyre pressure's regularly
:D
-
eating a whole jar of pickled onions can have "unplessant"results
:?
-
drink nothing but cheap cherryaid and you wull wee red, i did.
-
FOR NISSAN MICRA DRIVERS
Turn your rear washer jet upside down and place a sparkler in it. Light the sparkler just before you go out.
You drive it like a bumper car, you may as well make it look like one.
-
Dont eat a big nasty hot dog prior to going on a big roller coaster.
It might make you throw up.
:?
-
Don't try Devils Pit with 265/70/16s on , no lift kit and arches not cut back... :shock: ... interesting new tread pattern though..
-
Any "quick" and "easy" job will involve at least one rounded nut.
. . . . . and many scraped knuckles :?