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silly questions !!!

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Lord Shagg-Pyle:
whilst stuck in a traffic jam the other day some more idiotic things that people have said came back to me.

1) A colleague and I went to a domestic where the guy had thumped his wife. We walk in and the bloke refuses to listen to reason, so I nick him. He refuses, saying "You'll never take me alive, copper". What? So the Quick Kuffs get clicked on, a quick flick of the wrist and he is mewing like a little baby. He gets lifted onto his feet, and then says "It'll take more than you two to arrest me". I then pointed out to him that it had just taken two of us less than 30 seconds to arrest him. What a dick!

2) I was sat in a large white Police car, with the words Police written on it. I am wearing my uniform. I get asked by a member of the Public, "Are you on duty?" "Er no, not really, I just have a uniform fetish"

3) I was searching a particularly obnoxious, drunk man when he came out with the classic "I bet you really like touching blokes up don't you?" The reply was "I couldn't possibly comment sweety, but your not my type anyway. Your breath smells, and you have an awful taste in clothing. Sergeant, be a dear, and pass the latex gloves, I think he might have secreted something, if you catch my drift"
The drunk shut  up and became very compliant.

Saying that, the Public don't have the monopoly on saying daft things. Coppers have been known to say a few silly things.

1) To an injured person at an accident. "Are you OK?"
2)To the sole occupant of a car that has just been stopped "Are you the driver of this vehicle?"
3) To a robbery victim. "So what did the masked robber look like?"
4) On arriving at a arson scene, said to a member of the Fire Crew "Where's the fire then?", to which the reply came "Where that large hot, flickering yellow and orange thing is.I'm sorry if its confusing mate"


As Shylock said in the Merchant of Venice "If you cut us, do we not bleed?"


P.S for Boggert: If you don't want to try ' Talk like a Pirate Day', try American Cop Day. This is where you deal with everyone in the style and speech of, not surprisingly, an American Cop. It can be quite amusing, especially if you choose an accent form the Deep South, as in Sheriff Jay Dudya Pepper, of the Louisianna State Po'Leece Deeepartment!
That way you can use the phrase:
"You picked the wrong county to haul ass thru, boy! You think you are some kind of goddam special agent?"
At the very least, it will make your day seem a lot more amusing. At best, it will guarantee you 6 months off while PSD suspend you for investigation to see if you have gone loony! Worked for me!

shaun and co:
know a girl who lost half her leg in a scuba diving accident. after a year on disability the dss wrote to her to ask her if she was still disabled!

Lord Shagg-Pyle:

--- Quote from: "shaun and co" ---know a girl who lost half her leg in a scuba diving accident. after a year on disability the dss wrote to her to ask her if she was still disabled!
--- End quote ---


Typical bureaucrats!

Xtremeteam:
can remember a customer came into where i used to work & asked the boss to have a look at his landrover, cant rememeber what the exact fault was but the boss asked the customer if he could hold on 2 seconds whilst he unplugged his magic wand from the charger & brought it over :lol::lol:

Dave_:
I work on the buses  and regularly get people saying a road name and just expecting you to know where it is.!

I drive 60 odd routes through 9 towns.... i dont know every single road name i go down!





pubs on the other hand!! :lol:

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