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silly questions !!!
Lord Shagg-Pyle:
The stupid questions I get asked usually fall into 2 categories; On or Off Duty
On Duty
1) Q:Why aren't you out catching murderers, rapists, terrorists?
A: Because I am dealing with a cretin like you!
2) Q: Haven't you got anything better to do?
A: No not really. I was bored, so I just thought I would annoy you by catching you speeding.
3) Q: Why is the road closed?
A: There has been a serious accident
Q: Can I get through there, I need to get to the shops.
A: Hang on sir, I'll just ask the injured person to glue themselves back together again, move their wrecked car and I'll then horsewhip them as they dared to block your way.
4) Q:Does your head go all the way to the top of that helmet?
A: yes it does actually. I had my cranium increased to have a large brain installed to be able to deal with the large amount of cretinous questions I get asked.
5) Q:Where's your sense of humour?
A: At the end of this baton. If you look closely, you can just see it (tap tap on the forehead) There it is!
6) Q: Don't you know who I am?
A: No, thats why I stopped you, because I really wanted to find out who you are, so we could be pen pals!
Off Duty
1) Q: My 'friend' got done for speeding/mobile phone/ no seat belt. What can they do?
A:(Looking person straight in the eye) Tell your idiotic, no brainer of a 'friend' to stick to the rules
2) Q: Do you take your handcuffs home at the weekend?
A: Yes, they go quite well with my gimp mask, although I find the leather does tend to chaffe a bit. Do you have the same problem?
This list is by now means the full lot, but you are probably bored by now. I would like to point out, that these answers are not the first line of response, as that would be unprofessional and dis-courteous. They are usually used after a bad day and after having been asked the same question several times in a row.
As they say in America, "Have a nice day, y'all" :wink:
BigSi:
--- Quote from: "edy" ---sparkeys also get, just as you have touched the wire, the coustomer will make a "buzz" noise. ye like that makes me think i have been electricuted :roll:
--- End quote ---
Forgot that one!!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
strapping young lad:
i get asked this a lot when i tell them where i work...
so do you get to see the car ads before the rest of us? err noo
go on put on a car for me for owt! err no
Boggert:
LSP you crease me up.... :lol: PMSL :lol: :lol: :lol:
My colleague has dared me to talk to the next punter we run into lika a piarate!
Just haven't got the courage yet!
My Std answer to "Haven't you got anything better to do?"
Is "Yes, which is why I'm so annoyed in having to deal with you so don't push it"
edy:
--- Quote from: "jeep94" ---
--- Quote from: "edy" ---sparkeys also get, just as you have touched the wire, the coustomer will make a "buzz" noise. ye like that makes me think i have been electricuted :roll:
--- End quote ---
Forgot that one!!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
--- End quote ---
and the "hope you no what your doing"
to wich you reply "well funny you mention that" or "yeh you better hope" :roll:
and always get a coustomer watching your every move, "so what that wire do then" to wich you reply "thats the live feed" then your thinking to yourself- if you dont shut up, i will shove it down your throat and turn the thing on! :twisted: :roll:
and the kettle one wich you said that happens quite a lot you always get asked if you want a cuppa just as you have turned the electric of :roll: :roll:
i no there is many more wich im shure you heard all of the a million times :roll:
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