AuthorTopic: Twas The Night Before Christmas  (Read 299 times)

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Offline Mudlark

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Twas The Night Before Christmas
« on: December 22, 2007, 10:42:54 »
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the trails,
Every Jeep was stranded, Their progress like snails.

They had no shovels, No rope and no winch,
No CB, no cell-phone, To get out of their pinch.

When out from a mud pit, There arose such a clatter;
All the 'wheelers came running To see what was the matter.

I saw some poor Jeep All covered in crud;
He had blown his motor trying to get free of the mud.

As he stood there I noticed His glowing red face,
And I knew in an instant He wanted out of this place.

I glanced at his roof, It was all I could see;
He pleaded for help From my WARN winch and from me.

So I sprang to the front Of my trusty old Rover,
Spooled out the winch cable, Said "Hook 'er up, grover!"

He went for a swim In the watery hell, and
I laughed as he turned brown, And started to smell.

He hooked up the cable to his buried front hook,
I put a coat on the line Like it says in the book.

I winched him out quickly, A very fast session;
And I charged him a C-note, To teach him a lesson.

I then drove my D-90 through the same mud and muck;
And lo and behold I too became stuck!!

With an almighty bang and a hell of a clatter.
I suddenly realised I knew what was the matter

A broken axle, Oh damn and oh blast!
Driving a lawnrover, I know they don't last!

2 axles, 1 busted. I knew who to blame.
All I could do was hang my poor head in shame.

I really thought that I'd have the last laugh.
And I would if it wasn't for this damned broken halfshaft.

Now in the mire, no drive to the front
Wishing I'd never tried such a cocky stunt

Trying to go forwards in the dead of the night,
Yet another bang gave me a hell of a fright.

I tried all the gears, no nothing ... oh hell!
I realised the rear axle had blown up as well!

I cursed for relying on the landy to go.
After all it was built with the mini metro!

Those morons in birmingham can't design a toad,
Let alone something that can be relied on offroad.

Then a man in a red truck pulled up alongside,
and enquired of me if I needed some aide.

Swallowing my pride I accepted with grace,
and he pulled up in front with a grin on his face.

Hitching up to my tow point he did in a flash
and very soon we were off at a dash!

Out to the road for the tow truck to wait.
I knew for my dinner i was going to be late

Yet more from my wallet I was needing to pay.
To fix this damned thing - I should throw it away!

As he wound down his window and drove out of sight,
He smugly yelled back "Buy a Pajero... Land Rovers are <edit>!!"

 
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Offline Boggert

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Twas The Night Before Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2007, 11:20:10 »
LOL that was great...
If want to walk it walk it, if you want to ride it ride it just leave me alone to drive it!

"Save The Cheer leader, save the world"

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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Twas The Night Before Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2007, 12:04:06 »
Not wishing to be maudlin, but don't forget those who are elsewhere

ITS CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS SECURE

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
HE LIVED ALL ALONE
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE
AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE
NO TINSEL NO PRESENTS NOT EVEN A TREE
NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES AWARDS OF ALL KINDS
A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT IT WAS DARK AND DREARY
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING SILENT ALONE
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER
NOT HOW I PICTURED A LONE BRITISH SOLDIER
WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO THE FLOOR FOR A BED

I REALISED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT
SOON ROUND THE WORLD THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY

THEY ALL ENJOY FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY ALONE
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME

THE VERY THOUGH BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE
'SANTA DON'T CRY THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM I DON'T ASK FOR MORE
MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY. MY CORPS'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT I CONTINUED TO WEEP

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SAT AND SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHTS CHILL
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR SO WILLING TO FIGHT

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE
WHISPERED 'CARRY ON SANTA ITS CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS SECURE'
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT'

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY A PEACE KEEPING SOLDIER STATIONED OVERSEAS
THE FOLLOWING IS HIS REQUEST I THINK IT IS REASONABLE.

PLEASE WOULD YOU DO ME THE KIND FAVOUR OF SENDING THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN

CHRISTMAS WILL BE COMING SOON AND SOME CREDIT IS DUE TO OUR BRITISH SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN FOR OUR BEING ABLE TO CELEBRATE THESE FESTIVITIES.
LETS TRY IN THIS SMALL WAY TO PAY A TINY BIT BACK OF WHAT WE OWE

 






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